Act Two, Part C

 

 

NINA: What do you think God keeps in the refrigerator?

PIN: Semi-sweet chocolate…

ROAN: Broccoli…

SAVANNAH: …a vintage bottle of Bordeaux.

CAT: What would you do if you were God?

SAVANNAH: Start over.

ROAN: Quit.

PIN: Move Alaska a little closer to the sun.

MARIA: Oh, no you don’t. That would ruin it.

PIN: Yeah, maybe you’re right.

NINA: I’d bring back Billie Holiday.

SAVANNAH: …and Jean Toomer.

MARIA: I’d have Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring be the world anthem.

CAT: I’d have Moonshadow be the world anthem.

PIN: I’d make men have babies every other year.

ROAN: I’d abolish the straight line.

NINA: I’d make war a daytime show, and then have both sides drink with each other at night over the instant replay.

SAVANNAH: That’s what the Dutch and the Germans did during World War II and it didn’t stop them fighting each other.

PIN: Really?

SAVANNAH: Yeah.

MARIA: Hmmm. Odd lot these men. Maybe they should be the first to go.

ROAN: Yeah, maybe. Or, all the ones that fight. Some of them are okay.

NINA: Well, we have to draw the line somewhere. How about at calculus? All the ones that know calculus we get rid of, all the rest we save?

SAVANNAH: Too easy, I know calculus.

CAT: How about quantum mechanics?

NINA: Better.

ROAN: How about thermonuclear dynamics?

PIN: Bingo.

ROAN: You know, it must be a helpless feeling, to be watching a star or a planet from way out there, and to watch it die and not be able to do a damn thing about it.

SAVANNAH: But, maybe its best for something to die so it can be reborn.

NINA: Do we have to keep talking like this? Can’t we talk about harmonicas or something?

ROAN: Yeah, this has been quite the night for pasting up philosophies, hasn’t it? Next time someone utters a paradoxical truth, bite their toes or something.

PIN: Or the hand that feeds you?

MARIA: The hand that feeds you trash. The other hands are okay.

PIN: You know what I miss? Blackjack gum.

CAT: I miss Terry Blank, wherever she may be.

MARIA: I miss God.

NINA: Be serious.

MARIA: Well, at least with God you always knew where you stood, but these days…

ROAN: But doesn’t that make life more interesting?

MARIA: More mysterious.

SAVANNAH: Case closed. It was necessary to kill God in order to find them again.

NINA: I’m gonna bite those toes right now.

ROAN: Oh, wow, look at the time. I’ll have to be getting along soon.

SAVANNAH: What a night.

PIN: How are you doing, CAT?

CAT: A little weary…but I’ll manage.

MARIA: Would you like me to stay with you tonight?

CAT: Oh, bless your heart, but…I think I’ll need to be alone tonight to sort this all through.

MARIA: Are you sure?

CAT: I’m sure. This is something I…have to do.

NINA: What’s going to happen with the body? Mike’s body?

CAT: I’ll take care of it in the morning. I’ll call the police, and I’ll go over everything with them.

PIN: Are you sure, CAT? That might be quite a shock.

CAT: …It’ll do me good. In some very weird cosmic way, I’m sure.

NINA: Well, I guess we’ll be moseying then.

(NINA and PIN get up and gather their things.)

NINA: Oh, come here, kid. (Hugs her) Sorry for the words earlier….

CAT: Don’t worry about it. I needed them.

NINA: Yeah, well that’s what I figured (chuckles)

PIN: Take care, pet. I’ll drop by tomorrow. (Hugs her)

(Savannah and Roan quietly rise and grab their stuff as Nina and Pin are leaving. Then Maria decides to do the same.)

NINA: Do you ever think just how much leverage Mary could have pulled if she hadn’t wanted to have Jesus? I can just imagine all these men in robes making her stay in the manger. "And NO sharp objects."

PIN: She could have changed the whole course of history. What would the world have been like without Christ?

SAVANNAH: Somebody else would have come along. The time was ripe, people wanted someone. It had nothing to do with Christ really. The people were just hungry. If it hadn’t been Jesus, it would have been Emilio from the next village. Can you imagine Emilio’s mother when she finds out she’s carrying—

PIN: Can you imagine Emilio’s mother saying, "Uh-uh, I heard what you want my baby for. Get outta here, you angels, you!"

NINA: Have you ever tried not to celebrate Christmas? I dare you.

SAVANNAH: Are you not celebrating it this year? Me, too. (They shake)

NINA: I’m going to celebrate winter solstice instead. I think that’s important; to see if I can find some sort of celebration in all the darkness. So I’ll just be sitting in my apartment, in the dark, with my friends.

SAVANNAH: Sounds like a good idea.

NINA: Thanks.

MARIA: What are you doing this Christmas, Cat?

CAT: It depends what happens with my mother. I’d like to be there when she pulls through. It seems like I’ll have to pull our family together, too.

PIN: And so the brave winter soldiers venture out into the night, to leave stones turned, turpentine the red city, and…and…arrest wee willie winkie….

NINA: Here, here. Take care, kiddo. Phew! I’ll be in touch. Get some sleep, get some food, and take care. (They hug again)

PIN: Pretty much ditto, Cat. You’ll survive. (They hug)

CAT: Maria…

MARIA: Take care of yourself. You belong to me. (They hug) I’ll be over tomorrow, too.

SAVANNAH: We may as well just have a slumber party since we’ll all be here tomorrow anyway. (Hugs Cat) Hang in there, Cat.

ROAN: (pulls a horse chestnut out of her coat pocket and folds it into Cat’s hand) I love you, Cat. (They hug)

CAT: I love you, too, Roan. And Nina and Pin and Maria and Savannah. (sings) "Now it’s time to say goodnight…"

NINA: Oh, boy, let’s scram before the cats get here.

CAT: Thanks guys. Guys? Gals? All of the above? None of the preferred?

NINA: I hear San Diego is nice this time of year….

CAT: Bye. (Closes door behind them)

(Cat, after a well-deserved sigh, begins general clean up of the place)

(After about 16 beats, a knock at the door. Cat goes over to open it and discovers Cecily in the threshold.)

CAT: Hi.

CECILY: Hi.

CAT: Come on in.

CECILY: Is your party over?

CAT: Yes, for the most part.

CECILY: Did you enjoy it?

CAT: …ask me tomorrow. You played a bigger part in this evening than I realized. For a dream, that is.

CECILY: What are you talking about?

CAT: Aren’t you a dream? Didn’t you—Didn’t WE dream you?

CECILY: Depends if you’re dreaming right now or not.

CAT: How do I tell if the reality in my dreams is more concrete than the dreams in my reality?

CECILY: Well, looks like you’ve got two homes. Where would you rather be?

CAT: But you can’t choose that.

CECILY: Why not? It’s only a game. A very long one, and a very ornate one, but a silly one nonetheless. Everyone knows this.

CAT: So why do they bother playing?

CECILY: Well, they have to do something.

CAT: But, why do I bother playing?

CECILY: I give up. Why?

CAT: You’re no help.

CECILY: Then change your dream.

CAT: No, not yet. I want to see how this one turns out.

CECILY: Don’t you already know?

CAT: Well, yes, but I want it to turn out just the way I want it.

CECILY: And how is that?

CAT: I don’t know yet. But if it’s right, I’ll know it is.

CECILY: And if it’s not?

CAT: I guess I’ll wake up.

CECILY: Haven’t you done that already?

CAT: Many times. I think tonight was the last time…I killed someone tonight, Cecily.

CECILY: Well, at least we’re in the same boat. I let someone kill me tonight. I stood in their way. Or, actually, they stood in my way. And something, someone had to give. But it took them so long. There’s nothing worse than a reluctant executioner; they will keep you waiting and waiting…. So much worse than an impulsive executioner. At least they trust their own heart. But a reluctant executioner has had time to think. And they always end up feeling with their head instead of thinking with their heart. And they despise it if you don’t wait for them. They find it to be a personal insult if you kill yourself before they get there, until they realize they caused it. Then it is a greater victory then they realized.

CAT: Why did you let them kill you?

CECILY: Because they would have anyway. And I’m not one to play games. If someone insists on killing me and I simply cannot talk them out of it, I let them, so we can both get on with it.

CAT: I don’t think I could let someone just…kill me. I don’t think that I could just die.

CECILY: Sometimes you just can’t. Sometimes you just have to teach yourself all over again.

CAT: I think I’d rather have someone else do it. Either someone I’ve known forever, or else just a total stranger. I…couldn’t do it alone.

CECILY: But, how would you know who did it?

CAT: You’d…you’d just know. It would be something you’d know. How you died and who did it. You’d remember it vividly.

CECILY: Well, what do you remember about it?

CAT: …I remember not wanting to remember it.

CECILY: Tell me what the last thing was that you thought of and I’ll tell you how you died.

CAT: …I thought of you.

CECILY: …so did I. So did I…

(six beats)

CAT: …I didn’t do it. I didn’t kill him. I didn’t have to kill him. He did it himself. But, I watched him do it.

CECILY: …so did I…

 

(Fade to black)